Caring
For Each Other At Times Of Tragedy And Transition 8.03 There is little question that the workforce is under greater pressure than at any time in recent history. While world and local politics generate havoc with the national and local economies, more is expected of the worker. Unfortunately, there are no quick solutions to the current situation. However, it is increasingly essential that the individual workgroup find ways to support one another… to acknowledge each other, to form closer relationships, to reach out at times of personal and professional distress. The American workplace and the workforce within may be (humorously) viewed as “a happy, dysfunctional family.” Hour for hour, we spend more time with our work family than with our personal family. We develop relationships that run the gamut from close personal friends, to professional colleagues to relationships fraught with tension and conflict. Similarly, like any family, we share experiences of joy and pride as well as grief and sadness.In general, we have an easier time recognizing the happy and joyous moments of others. Births, engagements, marriages, anniversaries, graduations, promotions, etc are readily acknowledged. Yet, illnesses, surgeries, deaths of loved ones, dissolution of marriages, etc are also part of life’s journey. Unfortunately, these painful experiences are fraught with more difficulty when trying to respond. It is normal for people in the workplace to experience a sense of discomfort around colleagues who have experienced a tragedy or transition in their life. Questions arise such as: “Should I say anything?” “What should I say?” “I don’t know the person that well?” “I don’t want to upset them.” “Can I still laugh or tell a joke around them or will that be upsetting?” “How can I be helpful to them?” One of the things that we know about humans is that there is great diversity in how people respond to painful experiences. Some remain very private and quiet while others are emotionally expressive. Some become sad while others get angry. Some reach out for support while others remain stoic, wishing for support to come to them. These are all “normal” responses to trauma, tragedy and transition… making it difficult to know how to respond. However, another thing that is known is that it is better to do something than to do nothing. It is better to err on the side of being intrusive, than to run the risk of the person feeling that no one cares. Comments such as: “I just want you to know that I am thinking of you.” Or, “I’m so sorry to hear about… Let me know if there is anything that I can do. Or, “I only know you through staff meetings, but my thoughts are with you often.” may be of support, yet not intrusive. Other non-verbal expressions may also be helpful such as leaving a card, plant, or cookies with a brief message. Of course, one should stay away from statements such as: “I know how you feel.” “It’s God’s will.” “I know someone who had the same surgery…” It is also important to remember that people go through stages or phases after a significant experience in their life. For many, the “life cycle” of a crisis or tragedy may be as long as 2-3 years (not 2-3 months) until there is a sense of resolution. Many people try to offer support during the first couple of weeks and forget that people need on going support. For the workplace there is often a difficult dichotomous question: How do we remain supportive, yet expect that the person perform his her duties and responsibilities? In times of tragedy, be it our personal or professional relationships, on going communication is a necessary ingredient to facilitating the healing process. In closing, may take “a village to raise a child,” but it also “takes a village to heal a human.” |
|
||||||||||||||
